Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Someone shit on the floor
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
