If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a hot homeless man
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
