what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
