In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
