Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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