i'm signing you up for texting rehab
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
