Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
