i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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