i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
