she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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