it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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