I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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