just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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