I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I cockslap morals
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
