is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
