I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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