Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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