I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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