Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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