I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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