Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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