This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
