Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
