i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
