How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
