you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Four minutes until I can fart!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
