considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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