she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
did you just send me my own nude
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize