just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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