I need help removing her.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
