bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
love makes seman taste better
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
