Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just invented taco cereal.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
