True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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