It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
