It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
40s are totally the cure
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Let's get the cat blown out
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
