I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize