I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
