This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize