All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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