Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
