the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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