I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We got so high we made milksteak
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
