Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
