wat bout pragnant strippers??
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
