he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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