Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just gargled with NyQuil
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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