she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
