so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
