# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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