Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize