I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
