Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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