I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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