How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
