The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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