I've blown a few things in my day
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
