hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
