Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
