Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize