Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I will be naked everywhere
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
