I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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