this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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