she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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