It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
