Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
