Betty ford says i'm here all night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize