everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
