grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
