We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
