I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
