Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
