We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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