Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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