i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize