Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
