the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize