oh god the rape fog is back!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
