seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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