Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
