I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize