Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
