Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
