For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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