69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
