I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
