I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
