he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
