She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
