remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
